Issue #12
December, 2005
Holiday Greetings From Your Writing for Love & Money Advisory Board!
From Monica Harris – Editor, Dorchester Books:
“Even though it seems that the road to publication is long and rocky, don’t rely on short cuts. Keep in mind that styles change, editors move, and popular genres may come and go. So, write the story that comes from your heart. Only in that way will you find the right house for you and the loyal fans who enjoy the stories you tell.”
From Sandra Kitt – Author:
“I wish for all aspiring writers success and prosperity. But most of all I wish you peace and joy. May the New Year bring you closer to your dreams. Happy Holidays!”
From Dr. Debra Holland – Relationship Specialist:
“Best wishes to everyone for a lovely holiday season. Take the time to set some New Year’s goals and write them down. Here’s to achieving your goals in 2006!”
From Sandra Madden – Author:
“Write one page a day starting January 1st, and you’ll have a completed novel this time next year. Happy Holidays!”
Dear Romance Writer:
I don’t know about you, but this time of year makes me feel frantic and even less organized than usual. I am one of those people who need to accomplish everything at once. As a result, I end up scattered and unfocused. I drive myself even crazier by replaying in my head all the things I could have done better this past year. Could I have written a better book? Could I have handled a personal situation differently? What about friends I neglected in that never ending quest to meet deadlines? Did I act hastily when I made the decision to end a toxic friendship?
Plus, just thinking of all the things I have to do this month leaves me feeling overwhelmed. How will I juggle a full-time job, finish my writing, decorate a house and shop for gifts? Will my family be hurt if I don’t make it to New York for the holidays? What about my next door neighbor who’s having an Open House? Will he feel slighted if I have another obligation and fail to show up?
I force myself take a deep breath. The world won’t end if a gift gets sent late or if decorations get thrown up the day before Christmas. Friends aren’t going to abandon me if the roast doesn’t come out exactly right … and if there’s a cobweb in the corner of my bathroom, well that’s just too bad. Real friends aren’t going to cop an attitude if I return phone calls a week or so later. The only person putting pressure on me is me.
To help manage my stress, I write down what I hope to accomplish each day. For example, I’ll write holiday cards one night, I’ll wrap gifts or go shopping another night, and those drawers I’ve been promising forever to de-clutter might just not get done.
As for writing … well, writing, like exercising, is stress relief. Writing has always been therapeutic for me. It helps keep me focused and centered. Some of my best writing has been done through life’s ups and downs.
The holidays will be here whether we plan for them or not, so why not minimize your anxiety level? Do what you can, when you can … and what you can’t get to, just put off for another day. Heed Dr. Debra Holland’s advice. (Scroll down and see the doctor’s informative article on reducing stress.) There’s only so much in life you can control. Your reaction to stress is one of them.
Have a warm and wonderful holiday season. My wish for you is to find inner happiness, and the rest will come. Surround yourself with good friends and family, and may the muse continue to sit on your shoulder. May creativity abound.
Romantically Yours,
Marcia
TOOLS OF THE TRADE
Below you will find an article written by Dr. Debra Holland, a relationship specialist and Advisory Board member of “Writing for Love & Money.” Given the typical stresses of the holiday season, Dr. Debra’s advice couldn’t come at a more fitting time. Overcoming challenges and remaining calm at this time of year is definitely within your control. Take a deep breath and read on.
DEALING WITH STRESS
By Debra Holland, Ph.D
www.drdebraholland.com
At this time of year, magazines start running articles on dealing with holiday stress – a very worthwhile topic. These articles discuss simplifying the holidays and doing as much planning and work in advance – both useful for managing holiday stress. But my article is not going to be like the traditional ones you read in November and December.
I had an experience Friday that prompted me to write this newsletter, using my own situation as a teaching tool for stress management, both during the holiday time, and throughout the rest of the year.
On my way to a consulting job in Hollywood, I received a call asking me why I wasn’t at the seminar I thought I was going to be teaching NEXT week. Fifty people had been waiting for me for 20 minutes, and the manager was IRATE!
Guess what my topic was? Stress Management.
I was horrified! I couldn’t believe I’d mixed up the date. I was also ashamed. It’s not like me to make mistakes like this. And, I hadn’t even studied the material I’d be presenting for four hours. Shaken, on the verge of tears, I called in to cancel the Hollywood job. Luckily there were others there who could take my place. I turned around and headed home to pick up the PowerPoint program and the training and student manuals.
I called the irate manager (who by then had calmed down a bit) and profusely apologized. I told him I’d be there in about 45 minutes. I was a little relieved to learn they could move a part of their program that was supposed to come after my talk into the morning time, so they weren’t sitting around twiddling their thumbs and waiting for me.
I was also upset because this was only the second job I’d done for this consulting company, and I figured I’d just blown the opportunity for future work.
On the race back to my house, and then to the site, I knew I’d have to apply all the stress-reduction techniques I was scheduled to teach my students, or I’d arrive at the hotel a frazzled mess, and lose any credibility I had left. Plus, I knew I’d potentially alienated everyone who’d be listening to me, and I knew I’d have a lot of ground to regain – not something I’d be able to do if I was stressed and anxious.
Here’s what I did to decrease my stress leve:
1. I began to take deep, centering breaths. Centering breaths are when you breathe to the bottom of your lungs, pushing your belly out when you inhale, and pulling your belly in when you exhale.
2. I prayed. I knew I needed all the help I could get, so I asked for Divine guidance for the situation to turn out in a positive manner.
3. I began to list what I had NO control over and what I DID have control over.
I had NO control over:
- Going back in time and fixing my mistake
- Traffic
- What was happening at the hotel, and what the people involved were feeling or thinking about me
- The fact that I hadn’t even glanced at the materials
I DID have control over:
- My attitude – negative or positive thoughts
- My body – taking deep breaths
- My choice to remain panicked or to prepare myself to teach the class by using what I already knew about the topic, along with what was in the actual program from my consulting company.
4. I focused on letting go of the circumstances I had no control over, and concentrated on what I DID have control over. Letting go meant not dwelling on them, and especially not magnifying the negative situation by building up more fearful anxieties in my mind.
By putting these four steps into action, I became more (although not completely) relaxed, and my mind started working on creative solutions. I was able to gear up my energy, knowing I had to go in and give the best teaching performance of my life. So, when I arrived at the hotel, an hour and 15 minutes after I was supposed to have started my presentation, I was ready to hit my mark.
And I did.
What followed was an amazing experience, one that probably taught me more than I taught my class. I walked in, apologized publicly to the audience, and used my own example – what happened, all my reactions, and how I handled them – as the opening of my presentation. They were laughing and relating to my story, and in five minutes, I knew I had them hooked. Even the manager (who’d greeted me politely, but had silently made it clear that he was angry) relaxed his stiff body language and joined in the laughter.
So I relaxed, too. I put the negative experience behind me, and rode the wave of laughter into a positive, energy-filled presentation. I was able to navigate through the material – maybe not the way I would have if I’d been more prepared – but in a way, that still worked. And we ended up having fun. They were a close-knit group with a sarcastic sense of humor, and that helped. We laughed a lot.
At the end, when we were discussing how to learn from our mistakes, I again used myself as an example. “One,” I said, “is that I’ve learned to triple check future speaking engagement dates. But ‘two,’ is that I’ve learned I can make a spectacular mistake, be VERY upset about it, yet still meet the challenge and turn it around. How valuable is that to know about myself?” As I was speaking, I could feel the positive boost I’d given to my self-esteem. And I laughed and told the class, “I’ll have to fill out an evaluation form for myself.”
The class evaluations came back very positive, and my consulting company was very pleased.
What a lesson! (One I’d prefer not to have to learn again.) I’d stepped up to a challenge and mastered it. If I’d given up and avoided the situation, this experience would be forever branded in my consciousness as a shameful failure. But instead, I have a positive experience that I can always use to motivate myself when I’m confronted with a new challenge.
So, as the holidays approach, and you’re confronted with challenging situations, remember to take deep breaths, pray, decide what you have control over and what you don’t, then release the anxiety about what you have no control over. Focus on the positive – especially love and gratitude for all the wonderful people and things you have in your life.
I hope your holidays are relaxed, filled with special family and friends, laughter, love, and joy.
Dr. Debra
INTERVIEW WITH SHERRYL WOODS
What could be more fitting than to end the year chatting with prolific author, Sherryl Woods? Sherryl, one of the most caring and positive authors I’ve had the pleasure to meet, has published more than 100 romance and mystery novels. An ex-journalist and television critic, Sherryl now divides her time between Key Biscayne, Florida, and Colonial Beach, Virginia, where she owns a bookstore called Potomac Sunrise. For more about this inspiring author, log onto www.sherrylwoods.com.
RY:
As the author of over 100 romance and mystery novels, we are delighted to have you join us. You are quite the prolific author, yet you continue to have a “life.” Can you tell us what it takes to write as many books as you have?
SW:
Organization mostly and never waiting around for my muse to wander in. If she’s not here, I have to go out and hunt for her. After all those books, I have a pretty good sense of how many pages I can do in a day and in a week, and I set my deadlines accordingly. I try to leave a little margin for the unexpected, because I absolutely hate the panicky feeling I get when I’m running behind. If I set reasonable goals, I can usually be ahead of where I need to be. What a glorious feeling that is!
RY:
At this time of year, writers need even more motivation to keep writing. I read somewhere that you are a motivational expert – you coordinated a motivational program for employees at the University of Miami – The Jackson Memorial program to be exact. What advice do you have for writers to stay focused? And how do you stay motivated?
SW:
Keep in mind, when I motivated employees at a medical center, the goal was to improve patient care, so the skills aren’t exactly the same.
When it comes to writing, in some ways this goes back to my last answer – setting reasonable goals. If you know your own pace and are realistic about those goals, it’s much easier to stay on track, even during the holidays. Everyone’s approach to writing is different, and each approach is right, as long as it works for you. Some people write their best in long spurts and under deadline pressure. I like the kind of pacing that allows me time to have a life, so I don’t start feeling deprived or pressured. If the holidays are coming, I adjust my deadlines and goals accordingly, so I have time to enjoy the season. Otherwise, I might get very cranky. Who wants to be stuck at a computer all day long when everyone else is playing? Either plan for time off, or write early in the day, so you’ll be able to enjoy the rest of the day without guilt. Guilt puts a damper on everything.
As for staying motivated … once I started writing full-time, the need to pay my bills and eat became tremendous motivators. I also came from a journalism background, which meant facing deadlines every single day. I’m still driven to meet them. To me it’s the mark of a professional. If I do my part, it makes the publisher’s job easier. It’s a matter of respecting what the publisher needs to do in order to make my career go where I want it to go.
RY:
You’ve written under the pseudonyms Suzanne Sherrill and Alexandra Kirk. Now you write under the name Sherryl Woods. Was there a particular reason why you chose to use pseudonyms?
SW:
As I mentioned, I came out of a journalism background, and when I started writing romance novels way back in the early ‘80s, I had no idea if I’d succeed or if I’d go back into journalism at some point. A friend convinced me it would be smart to keep my real name for “serious” stuff. I wound up with two pseudonyms, because I wrote for both Dell and Bantam at that time and couldn’t use the same name at both houses. Once I began working with my agent, Denise Marcil, in the mid-‘80s, she convinced me it was far more sensible to have one consistent name – my own – in order to build my career.
RY:
Tell us about the Molly DeWitt and Amanda Roberts series. From what I’ve read, they’re mystery series written under pseudonyms? How can our readers and writers pick up copies?
SW:
Actually, both of those mystery series were written under my own name, Sherryl Woods. Molly DeWitt is the amateur sleuth in my Miami-based series for Dell Publishing – HOT PROPERTY, HOT SECRET, HOT MONEY and HOT SCHEMES. Amanda Roberts is the journalist heroine of a nine-book mystery series written for Warner Books. Both series were optioned for TV, but never made it on the air. The Amanda Roberts series came closest. Spelling TV hired an actress (Mimi Rogers) and a writer-producer, but then decided against it in favor of the “Hart to Hart” reunion episodes. Both series are out of print, but copies can sometimes be picked up in internet auctions or mystery bookstores that carry used books.
RY:
You have a new release in December (this month) titled “Flirting With Disaster.” Can you tell us a little about this story?
SW:
“Flirting With Disaster” is the second book in my “Low Country” trilogy from MIRA Books, following last spring’s “The Backup Plan.” It’s about a woman – Maggie Forsythe – who’s had disastrous luck in relationships with the kind of “black sheep” men she tends to choose. After finally choosing a nice, safe, stable guy, who then dumps her before the wedding, she decides that she’s simply doomed in the relationship department. Her friends think otherwise and put her to work as a volunteer building a house for a single mom. As she works with sexy contractor, Josh Parker (who has a load of issues of his own), Maggie decides she still has a taste for flirting with disaster.
During the book, readers also meet single mom, Amanda O’Leary and minister, Caleb Webb, who will have their own story in May, in “Waking Up in Charleston.”
RY:
I’ve noticed on your website (www.sherrylwoods.com) that you are actively involved in raising funds for Hurricane Katrina. It’s a good thing you do, matching up to $10,000 of reader contributions. Care to comment? How can we help?
SW:
Because it was Reba McEntire’s commercial for Whirlpool and Habitat for Humanity that inspired some of the storyline for “Flirting With Disaster,” I felt strongly that the book should be an opportunity to help that wonderful organization, especially in light of its special drive to build homes for those in the path of Hurricane Katrina. People can go from my website to a “team” page at Habitat and make an online contribution, or they can print out a form and send in a contribution. If even 1,000 people donated $10 each, we’d meet our goal. I’ve already sent in my $10,000, but the need for others to do what they can to put those Gulf region families into new homes is still great.
RY:
I truly admire you. You’ve given “multi-tasking” a whole new meaning. In addition to writing, you also own and run a bookstore. Can you put on your bookseller hat? Is it really true that most readers buy based on cover art and back copy?
SW:
Based on my observations over the past 10 years, yes, at least when it comes to trying someone new. They glance over the new releases, grab familiar authors by name, but then pick up unfamiliar names based on cover art, back-cover copy and recommendations from me. In a store as small as mine, hand-selling happens a lot. It’s hard to do the same thing in a big chain store or wholesale club, so cover art and copy become even more critical. Writers need to learn as much as they can about what makes a book stand out from all the rest, so they can offer good, specific feedback to publishers if they see early concepts for covers. Just saying you hate it is never enough. If a writer has no background in graphic design, it might even be worth taking a basic course along the way. I really think it helps to understand the elements of a good cover design that will best communicate what your book is about.
RY:
What are your thoughts about critique groups? Do you think they are beneficial to the aspiring novelist? Have you ever belonged to such a group?
SW:
I’ve had writing workshops and an ongoing critique group at my bookstore. I don’t always participate, simply because of the pace of my writing. I’m usually finished and on to my next book before they’ve heard even 1/4 of the previous project. I have, however, taken things to them when I’m uncertain about them and asked for input. The key to the success of these groups is whether you have complete trust in their judgment – know when to accept their criticism and take it to heart, vs. when it’s off-base. If you have a strong sense of your own style and story, then outside opinions can be very beneficial. If you don’t, those varied opinions can send you off in too many scattered directions.
RY:
When you get to a point in your writing where a scene isn’t working or you’re stumped, what are some of the things you do to move on? How do you generate new life into a scene?
SW:
On many occasions, I’ve looked at a scene and realized that it’s from the wrong person’s point of view, and that will help me jump-start it in a new direction. Sometimes it’s a matter of too much telling, rather than showing. Or not enough dialogue to bump up the energy. I try to analyze what’s going wrong, which usually tells me what I need to do to fix it. Since I try never to toss out entire chunks of a book once they’re written, I do this kind of hard analysis quite a lot, so I can save what’s on the page.
RY:
And finally, given that we’re on the brink of a new year, what inspiring parting words do you have for our “Writing for Love & Money” members? And what can we expect from Sherryl Woods in the coming year?
SW:
Believe in yourself and be persistent. You’ll never make it in this business if rejection or criticism throws you for a loop. Mutter and curse all you want to yourself when someone tells you something you don’t want to hear, but then step back and really “hear” what they said. Doesn’t mean you have to follow their advice, but there’s not a writer out there who’s not made better by a truly wonderful editor. I welcome that objective eye, because I’m way too close to what I’ve written. In fact, I think the real work in writing comes in the revision stage, when an outside viewpoint can help you dig even deeper into the story.
As for 2006, in addition to “Waking Up in Charleston,” the last book in the “Low Country” series (due out in May), I’ll be part of a Christmas anthology next November – “Dashing Through the Mall.” My story’s called, “Santa, Baby.” And then I start a new trilogy for MIRA in December called, “The Sweet Magnolias.” The first book is “Stealing Home.” MIRA’s publishing the books two months apart, which is great, so the other two will be out in early 2007.
Happy Holidays everyone and best wishes for a productive 2006!!!
WHO’S ACQUIRING:
Log onto www.eharlequin.com to read about some exciting new opportunities with their Spice and Kimani imprints.
COMING NEXT MONTH:
To be announced. Keep checking the romance forum at www.awaionline.com for updates.
ABOUT ROMANTICALLY YOURS
Romantically Yours is a FREE monthly newsletter for students of American
Writers & Artists Inc.'s Romance Writing Course - "Writing for Love
and Money."
We want to hear from you. Please send comments, news, research, or story
ideas directly to Marcia King-Gamble at romanticallyyours@awaionline.com.
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